let's talk about body image.

This year, I've really grown as a person.
I've learned more about who I am (basically an atypical teenager with the mind of a typical grandmother, in the body of a prepubescent girl).
I've learned more about what I stand for (rights - for the environment, for animals, for humankind in general).
I've learned more about what I want to be (making this world a better place).
And perhaps most importantly how to take care of myself (for you can't help others until you can help yourself).

In the past year I've had to really think about how to become the best person I can be, and because of this I've looked at a lot of different material in an effort to "go educate myself" (ontd_political, ily). The blogs and online magazines I regularly read have led me to think a lot about and form a lot of opinions on today's topic, body image. Some thoughts (guys reading this, be warned that most of it is aimed towards a female audience but feel free to read and chime in. Thanks for being here!):

On Black Friday while shopping in Target, I walked by the girl's clothing section and noticed a huge display of packs of Hane's underwear on sale. On a whim, I bought a pack marked for girls 14/16 years old figuring I might get lucky and have them fit.

Obviously that was a bad idea.

I officially have the body of the average 10/12 year old.

But you know what? I'm okay with that. Sure I'm 16 and a half. I'm 5'1", somewhere between 95 and 105 pounds,and have impossibly skinny and weak arms, wonderfully toned and muscular legs (soccer players represent!), and a sizeable fat pouch on my stomach which I call Frederick [yeah, I see you judging]. I have pretty much nonexistent breasts, exceedingly large shoulders, and virtually no hips. I have scars and a slightly uneven top lip from multiple surgeries to repair my bilateral cleft lip. Although I do appreciate their fabulousness, it's pretty much impossible for me to find shoes that fit me that aren't covered in rhinestones or vomiting pink patterns. I've also never been in a relationship, I've never kissed or been kissed, I've never been one of the girls doing that horrendous grinding that's rampant at school dances (nor do I want to be, on second thought). I'm thinking it's because of a mixture of how I look and how I carry myself. But I'm one of the lucky ones who's realized that that while all of it can be irritating at best, none of it will cause the end of the world, and none of it is worth changing who I am, because frankly, I know I'm awesome.

I'll admit that it hasn't always been this way. When I was little I really wanted to be beautiful. Not the textbook response that adults gave me ("your-personality-is-beautiful"-beautiful), but conventionally beautiful. I wanted to be on the cover of American Girl, I wanted to be the popular girl who everybody wanted to be friends with because she was so cute. Obviously those aspirations were shot down quickly: When I asked my parents if I was pretty, they laughed and said to shut up and go do more math. I was teased and questioned so much about what was wrong with my top lip. Needless to say, my self esteem was non existent for years. I think as I've gradually drifted closer to matching the conventional definition of beautiful, and have met more and more people from different walks of life, I've realized that the truth of the matter is no, not everybody is beautiful. We can't all be blessed with wonderful looks, and we can't all be known for renowned beauty. But just as some people are tall and some people are short, some people are exceedingly smart, some people are exceedingly athletic, and some people.... aren't quite so much of anything but have an outstanding desire to do good in this world (I, for one, am proud to be in that last group).

We are who we are. Isn't that enough?

Actually yes, I would. Three cheers for being "pathetic!"
Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Hip hip.... Who's with me?

Seeing pictures like this (credit was in the original picture but I cut it out because frankly, nobody needs to see this "thinspiration" crap) makes me realize exactly how often I throw my hands up in the air and mutter "PEOPLE" in exasperation. In this case, the girl is clearly photoshopped to hell (nobody has breasts that shiny and skin so evenly toned, while her left thigh looks like it was poorly cut to make it look like she has a space between her legs - I mean, nobody has angular inner thighs. For real now: if you're going to photoshop, do it right!). But in a lot of the pictures on the girl's Tumblr, she has pictures of beautiful, thin girls who have bodies just like some of my friends, who I know aren't actively working to be skinny. The problem is that society's fascination of weight has led people to equate being thin with being healthy and beautiful, whereas what we should be doing is putting focus on being healthy above all. Some of us are naturally skinny, so what? The fact of the matter is that a healthy size for most people is not a size zero.
It is not okay that we associate our weight with our worth as a human being. It infuriates me when people say "I am a size eight" rather than "I wear a size eight." There's not really much I can do about that fact except say that ladies: the size you wear does not and absolutely should not dictate who you are!
Because popular media's (and sadly, our warped society) has a profound effect on an individual's perception of her beauty, body image is a critical factor in determining how a woman treats herself and in effect, both her mental and physical health.

Now, I'm not going to bash people who're trying to lose weight or be thin or beautiful. Everybody has different desires (for example, I really really want to attain a pet unicorn. It's going to happen, just you watch!) and to each her own. I think it's good to have a goal, and if a physical appearance is the case then so be it. But when these goals become obsessions that cause you to be unhappy and unhealthy in their pursuit, there's obviously something wrong with those aspirations.

Clearly other people have noticed this as well, for there's been the "love yourself" movement going on for I don't even know how long. The problem in the way we approach body issues is that often we try to embrace a side but at the same time manage to criticize the other - in other words, saying "real women have curves" alienates women with naturally skinny bodies (or people like me who aren't actually that skinny but also don't have curves), while saying "high fashion just looks better on tall, thin models" outrages the average woman.
Another problem is that our obsession with beauty starts at birth. Who doesn't comment on how beautiful/chubby/cute newborns are? Society has placed such an emphasis on superficial beauty, and we need to change that. What we can do is actively attempt to place focus on being healthy, strong, independent people, rather than putting some unhealthy, twisted image of what beauty should be on a pedestal where it doesn't belong.

You are you, and that fact alone is beautiful.

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I'm hoping that this whole post doesn't make me seem too pretentious but chances are it does. I feel like I have a ton of different thoughts on this issue and I'm not really sure how to put them all down succinctly so... this the best I could do.

-K