Yesterday night around 10:30? PM I exited out of my gmail tab for once, to take a break from the comp and actually do some homework. An hour later, I came back, tried to open gmail, and was logged off. No matter what different passwords I tried, I couldn't log in, and the reset password email didn't get sent to my secondary address. Freaking out because I wasn't going to be able to check if any important messages came, and hoping that they didn't change anything on my facebook, chictopia, flickr, or (god forbid) this blog, I was this close [pinches fingers] to punching something. After sending a report to Google and waiting a couple of hours, I finally have my email back! According to the IP log on my gmail account, the person who hacked on was someone from Montreal, Canada. 64.235.212.101, be ready for a beating, because I will hunt you down. I already know where you live.... or at least, the avenue that you do. [insert angry face here]
Oh god, I'm such a creeper. Whatever, people who invade privacy like that piss me off, is all. Not that there was anything intensely important on that account (what if I was in the middle of college applications!?! I'd probably have needed to be sent to the hospital because of a heart attack), but it was quite a hinderance to my enjoyment of today. Anyway, enough of whining about me.
New blog header! You like? The picture was for a photoshop project, but for once one of my sketches actually came out acceptably, so I'm quite proud ;) [normally the only things i can draw are stick figures, hehe]
Slightly of scared for finals, fairly scared of (and intensely avoiding) studying for them, and downright depressed from the thought of grades coming in. However, thoughts of winter break give hope. Oh, and so do these:
(via fuckyeaharashi via arashigeneration ....btw, does anyone else think Matsujun's new hair looks like a pedo's? I MISS HIS CURLY LOCKS, THEY WERE BEST! D:)
Greetings! I know that these sort of survey/questionaire type things can get annoying as crap, but I figure this'd be fun to post anyway, forgive me. ;)
Hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving! I've realized that this year, I'm most thankful for those who have the decency to avoid putting Christmas decorations up until after Thanksgiving, haha.
Gee, I really should be working on homework, considering that today is really the last day I can actually work on it during this break.... whoops.
10 things I want for Christmas:
1. A really good pair of over ear, sound reducing headphones that won't break after 2 months, haha.
2. New power cord for my laptop, as the one I'm using now fails.
3. Grey ankle boots.
4. Custom made Converse high tops.
5. Either a pair of floral or basic black Doc Martens.
6. Sleep.
7. New iPod?
8. A big, comfy, loose, basic black vest like this one I've been planning to knit but haven't found the motivation to start (anyway, I don't know how to crochet yet so it'd be a bad idea to try this in the first place....)
9. Both solid colored tights in bright hues or knitted/warm tights in neutral tones.
10. Gift cards to Target, Borders, the GAP.
9 musicians/bands I love:
1. Arashi.
2.James Morrison.
3. Jason Mraz.
4. OneRepublic.
5. The Strokes.
6. Big Bang / G-Dragon
7. OwlCity.
8. Stuff from the Glee Soundtrack.
9. Kelly Clarkson.
8 things I do everyday:
1. Sleep.
2. Eat.
3. Laugh.
4. Procrastinate.
5. Gmail/Facebook.
6. Think. (okay, this one's debatable.... but still.)
7. Brush my teeth / Shower / Personal Hygiene.
8. Fangirl about Hot Asian Men (see line below)
7 things I enjoy:
1. Hot Asian Men / Fangirling.
2. Sleeping.
3. Eating.
4. Reading.
5. Shopping.
6. Proving people wrong.
7. Laughing.
6 things that will always win my heart:
1. Sincerity / honesty.
2. Intelligence.
3. Conscientiousness.
4. Humour.
5. Smiles.
6. Amazing hair. Or eyes. Or abs. Or marmosets.
5 favourites:
Movie: Into The Wild.
Song: (Asian music:) We Can Make It - Arashi / (Normal-People-Music:) Melt My Heart To Stone - Adele
1. Freshly cut wood? It’s that Home Depot smell, I think. Although no, that’s not it. The coat closet in my house smells like it, so do the drawers in the kitchen, sometimes.
2. That Carnival/Fair smell, The Boardwalk?
3. Christmas.
4. Bath and Body Works.
3 places I want to go:
1. New York City.
2. London.
3. Paris.
2 holidays I love:
1. Christmas.
2. Thanksgiving.
1 person I’d marry on the spot:
Sakurai Sho, if he was 10 years younger. Oh, but then he'd have no money, and we'd be screwed. Hmmmmmm...... I dunno, the idea of a 15-year-old marrying is just plain weird.
Now, I leave with you this beautiful piece of music, in which we can hear the word "fuck" 20 times. Hey, it's better than MBLAQ's "Oh Yeah," where they say the word "yeah" 93 times (if I counted correctly)
I loathe winter weather with every aspect of my being. It's just not right for anybody to ever have to wake up in below freezing temperatures. The weather gets gloomy, I miss my warm weather, light layers and blue skies. The chill can be refreshing at times, yes.... And the cold weather forces us to be creative w/ our layers of clothing.... they can also give us a chance to wear ridiculous hats like this!
(Hats: American Eagle)
.... But generally the weather gets to me, and I'm never as cheery as I usually am during summer or late spring.
In winter's defense, I will say that the Holiday Season is definitely one of my favorite times of the year. Thanksgiving is probably my second favorite time of the year (directly after Christmas.... I agree that it is the most wonderful time of the year). Usually we go down to the Bay Area and meet our family. The highlight of our meeting is, of course, the food: a potluck-driven feast for dinner, which usually entails one person bringing turkey and everyone else bringing authentic Chinese food (not that msg-ridden Americanized Chinese food crap [although I personally adore that stuff as much, if not more, haha]). This year, we're probably not going to go for the turkey (b/c a) we're not willing to fork over that much money for a turkey b) turkey killing is kind of depressing anyway and c) we never finish all the turkey anyway), but there is no doubt that we are all going to at least temporarily gain 10 pounds in the next few hours.
For the past few years, my mother and I have made a big deal over Black Friday sales. Last year, we were in Las Vegas during Thanksgiving/Black Friday so we didn't have the same type of celebrations as normal but it was still nice. This year, I'm hoping to slightly revive my wardrobe ;).
The best part of Thanksgiving, however, is of course giving thanks. Saying that sounds decidedly awkward, but in my mind it's true. Although at times carrying on with life is a major struggle, it can always be worse. Yes, the realization that life is major suck and that human beings are terrible is inevitable. Yes, it's hard to be grateful for the things we *do* in fact have, in the midst of all of the desires that weigh down on us. The thing is, it's so much better [and healthier, I must add] to focus on the good that's around us rather than the bad. Rule #1 in life: A postive mindset changes everything. Last year, I decided to send out a mass text to my friends w/ this message: "Happy Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for?" Simple question, but I got some great answers.
Of course, there was the cheesy, textbook answer "great friends like you!" And things like "good music, family, shelter." My friend Eric gave a wonderful answer along the lines of "every sunrise and sunset, every breath, and every footstep."
.... Needless to say, it beat my answer of "food."
This year, I will continue that question to my friends on facebook (and will update this blog w/ some of my favorites, if people actually answer) and maybe I'll even ask my immediate family this as well. I extend the question to all of you blog lovelies, leave your answer in the comments!
May your Holiday Season be filled w/ happiness and gratitude, and to those waking up at 3 AM to go hit the stores Friday, good luck! Now go eat some turkey! [or tofurky, for you vegetarians out there ;)]
[GD/KPop fans'll get the reference in the title... I think.]
Okay, so I said that I'd have a really major post... and I lied. Hehe. I mean, I have all the pictures ready for uploading, and I kind of know what I'm going to say (It's about fashion within Asian Pop Music), but I have to get this off my chest first: (warning: if you're not into pessimism, don't read it!)
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I hate apathy. I despise apathy. I loathe apathy with all facets of my being.
Of course, lately I've been really apathetic in a lot of areas. Of course, I hate myself for that. Of course, because of the overwhelming apathy I have, I'm not really doing much to get rid of this jazz.
It's kind of like a sophomore slump I'm going through, except instead of in college, it's in high school. I don't speak well, I don't write well, I don't speak well, I don't dress well, I don't even think well. I can tell I'm not doing nearly as well in any my classes this year as I have in the past few years. Even though I always try my hardest, I can tell my best is not very good. I can't socialize with people anymore. Not that I was ever a social butterfly, but now I can never find anything to say to people. I feel like a radiating blob of teen angst.
ANGST ANGST ANGST.
Arghhhh it's just so bad. I wonder why people get this? People say it's because of all the pressure put into meeting the standards of the first year, but if that's the case wouldn't people get better? I'm the type of person who does well under pressure.... Apparently not this year though. I started out the year thinking along the lines of "hey, I'm almost halfway done with high school!" and now my thoughts have drifted towards "can I just get out of this place and go to university?" I feel like I'm so done with my life as it is right now, I need a change.
I feel like all I've been caring for is my Japanese (and as of late, Korean) pop music. I'm not even joking when I say Arashi is one of the few things that keeps me going through the day.
So yes, this pathetic fact, mixed with my dropping grades, failure to keep up with people around me, and being sick-but-not-sick (it's confusing having a healthy immune system that effectively fights germs but doesn't keep you "healthy!"), and of course having an ankle with an untreated stress fracture for the past month-and-a half has not let me keep confidence in myself or the world around me. Everyday I remind myself of how grateful I am to live the life that I have now.... and I really am. But thinking realistically, it's just been ass lately. Right now I want to crawl into a hole and just go to sleep for 20 years.
I wonder how bad my senioritis'll be? I wonder why I think too much about myself? I wonder if I'll ever stop whining?
Blog lovelies:
I know, it's taken forever for me to actually post something of substance!
No worries - I have a *major* post in the works, filled w/ pictures and commentary :)
It actually has to do w/ style, which is where I get most of my readers.
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So- roundup of the past few days:
Saturday: Halloween. Tech rehearsal for the play lasted from 11-4. So tedious, so boring, huge waste of time for me, haha. Trick-or-Treated by myself (I was not on speaking terms w/ my parents at that time, so asking them for a ride to Haley or Claire's house [they both invited me but I had to turn them down] was not an option). Got quite a few "aren't you too old?'s" and a the majority of people turned me down when I asked for donations for UNICEF, but one couple of people had a really nice conversation about linguistics with me, haha. I still raised $42.72 though! :)
(if only I had that much for myself.... I'm still 100% broke, haha)
Sunday: So thankful for daylight savings being over - one extra hour of sleep! ;D
It's also really nice to be able to wake up on a school day with the sun already out - it is my personal belief that NOBODY should be forced to wake up before dawn for school.
Sat around a whole bunch, watched Kiiroi Namida (total waste of time - Arashi should stick to singing, dancing and solo acting if any acting at all ;p). Actually *did* do my homework without waiting until last minute!
Today (Monday):
Crap start to the week - Latin test first period. I'm pretty sure I aced it though... haha.
Went to the orthopedic during my free period and he told me that in order to see if I have a stress fracture, they're going to inject radioactive material and then xray that... or something of the like. Lovely.
Long, dragged on day. So glad that was over. But then - play rehearsal. We didn't get out until 6:30, and I didn't get home until 7:00! I still haven't started on the hw I didn't finish backstage! This is going to happen for every day this week, unfortunately. I can definitely tell this week's going to be a huge crapfest.
It was, however, a nice pick me up to hear that I won the contest held by Indie Style Media and I'm looking forward to parading around campus w/ the ISM shirt ;D (although then people'll actually be prompted to visit my blog... and will be utterly shocked, haha)
Agenda:
1. Study for in-class history essay tomorrow (we're writing about the Enlightenment).
On a slight tangent - here's a chat I had yesterday night:
me: i'm working on an outline for a history essay
[person]: oh fun fun...
whats it about?
me: how the Enlightenment affected society
[person]: ohh...thats boring
enlightenment in us?
me: no
the Enlightenment
as in the 18th century movement advocating reason as the basis of authority
during the 1700's in europe
w/ revolutionary thinkers
saying finally that you can't blame God for everything good and bad that happens in the world
and that humans make their own choices
and such
[person]: ohhh...
thats a suck
me: uh what?
Call me elitist or whatever, but I felt this perfectly illustrates the difference between a normal public school education and private school education.... there's just no compare.
2. Study for Spanish test Wednesday
3. Study for chem test Friday
3. Watch ep of Arashi no Shukudaikun that I downloaded on Saturday and still haven't gotten around to watching?
4. SLEEP!
I'm sure some of you readers out there [insert vague wave of the hand] have noticed the little icon thing on the sidebar w/ the link to "indie style media" that I posted about a month (? - I have no sense of time) ago. Lemme elaborate on my decision to post this up. One of my favorite bloggers, Annie Spandex is the head of this exchange and when she first announced it, I was very excited - to join the ranks of so many great bloggers is a fantastic opportunity! So many interesting blogs have joined, and the advertising brings a great advantage to both sides of the deal.
Additionally, marketplace publishers earn 80% of what advertisers pay (that's more than any other ad network we know of). Keyword bids start at $0.05 price-per-click for all ad sizes in the marketplace.
For me, the best part is that the banner exchange is free! (I'm broke, what can I say!)
Basically if you have a blog, you should join! It's simple, cool and a privilege to be among so many great inspirations.
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Lately I've had absolutely no inspiration when it comes to dressing up. Usually Halloween is one of the most exciting times of the year for me, and I still had fun today dressing up as a nerd [as opposed to just being a nerd like I always am ;)] along w/ Haley, but I'm not gaining much this time around. Even in school I haven't been doing as well as I used to.... I guess this is just one of those low-performance times. Lucky it's not the very end of the year, I guess?
It seems kind of like I feel a sense of what I want to do, and some direction, but it's not enough to guide me towards success like I'd like. Maybe I'm just taking things too seriously. Maybe I'm not taking them seriously enough. Ugh - life bothers me a lot.
The Agenda:
Tonight:
Halloween Dance
MovieMarathonWithMyself (not sure what to watch though.... TBD)
SLEEP!
Tomorrow:
Play rehearsal (from 11-3, which is ridiculous considering that I have the equivalent of one line in the play [which by the way, consists entirely of the word "NO!"])
Trick-or-Treating (for UNICEF! :D) (but by myself :-/ - even though I got invited by Claire to go, we both are trick-or-treating for UNICEF but we figure more money'll be raised if only one person goes around collecting money in each perspective neighborhood)
Sunday:
HOMEWORK! [huge load this weekend as well! (sigh)]
Study! [Latin test Monday, Spanish test and in-class History essay Tuesday]
More sleep (maybe ;p)
Sorry for such a crappy, depthless, substanceless post. Ugh I need to pick myself up from this slump, haha.
-K
So uhm, yeah. I've decided that I'm going to go as Someone-Who-Can't-Decide-What-She-Wants-To-Be-For-Halloween this Halloween. I've a costume party go to tomorrow and still didn't have my Tina costume ready, hence this last-minute resort. Pics to come... eventually.
In other news, nothing really of note has happened lately. I've been feeling a lot more angsty (not a good thing) have had far too many problems w/ people, events and myself (that I've been holding in so as not to be annoying but again... not a good thing), and have had loads of periods of extreme anxiety/stress, depression, happiness and calm (DEFNITELY not a good thing). I've kind of been disconnecting from the world via laying in my bed listening to music + playing solitaire or sitting around watching eps. of Arashi no Shukudai-kun or Cartoon KAT-TUN.... It's nice to not have to think about your own life for awhile ;p
I've been going over the question posed by John Green in this video:
Indeed, why *do* people want to be famous? Personally, I just think it's people just want to know that people are listening, that people care what they're doing. I guess you could go a step further by saying that everybody wants to be loved, but that's just digging in a little too far for my taste.
Anyway, currently I'm basically braindead and don't have much to say. My personality has really just been stripped and nonexistent this past week.... [sigh]
Here's to optimism and hoping for better days to come!
On a [slight] kick off of The Strokes. But probably for every 1 song of theirs I've downloaded like 10 songs from Arashi or other Jpop/Kpop bands, hehe ;D For a list of past song picks, click here.
Japanese Boys // Potatoes // Okada Masaki //Alexander McQueen // Neville Longbottom // Knitting // Japanese Dramas // Alexander Wang // Into The Wild // Foreign Languages // ARASHI!!! // Sour Patch Kids // Sleep // Photography // Cheese // Individuality // Irrelevant Information // Marmosets // Life
Questions and inquiries of all types welcome~~ Email me @ soanywaysblog(at)gmail(dot)com or leave a comment!
